Recommitting

is what I'm trying to do to this and all my other blogs.  I hope some of the rest of you who live in this house will help me out by adding an entry of your own.  The spring was very busy and full of change, getting used to Bob being retired, or mostly retired and all the busyness of KK finishing eighth grade and applying for and getting into the arts high school at Mac.  (Go KK!)  Life in a family with a toddler and a teen and three other adults is very different from the life I had before as a working woman in a long distance relationship with her husband and no daughters or grandkids on board most of the time.  I had lots of time for myself then and used some of it well with writing and exercise and other creativity and self care, that are harder to manage now.  I also read lots of light books and played computer games mindlessly at times.  I wasn't lonely in that life.  It was an easy life.  Life now is less easy but so much richer.  I tend to get caught between the needs of the various people in the house and have to work on boundaries and creative solutions.  That's good for me.  I was an only child and never really learned how to fit into a larger group without giving myself up altogether.  I'm doing better at that now, though it is still definitely a growing edge.  It's good to have such loving people with whom to grow. 

There are some delightful surprises in this life, like the tree house Ruth and Chris built for Liam in the back yard.  And the Wi.  I never thought I would have that popular game system, never wanted to try it, but Ruth and Liam bought Chris one for end of school and early Father's Day and the whole family is enjoying it.  Last night they even introduced me to bowling Wi style.  I was genuinely nervous at first that I wouldn't be able to do it at all, but I manafged fine and had fun.  I am amused that Liam, at two, can already play a video game with great understanding and a little skill.  Playing Wi together had the whole family laughing, something I wouldn't have expected.  Thanks Ruth.

Home again

after an anniversary trip to the coast to to both novel research and plain romantic getting away with Bob.  it felt good to come home to a family winding down for the night rather than to an empty house.  We haven't even talked much tonight.  it's late and everybody's tired, but the presence of family just feels warming.

Neglected

is what this blog has been lately and I don't approve.  I think I've been taking the co-housing life for granted, not chronicling or paying enough attention.   Some things about this life are harder than I expected.  Since Bob moved home and retired unexpectedly early quarters are tight and I feel more anxious than I'd like in a cluttered and disorderly room.  Bob needs the recliner in the room so he can elevate his legs at times and that really makes space tight.  On the other hand, in the evening when I am settling in I have the treat of hearing Liam's little voice raised in the ritual "goodnight house!"  I know that kid, his expressions, moods, syntax, favorite foods, where he likes his orange juice cup to be in the fridge.  That closeness is more than worth the price of cramped quarters for me.  Also treats tonight were sitting out in the lttle house with KK while she arranged costume bits for her show this weekend and kissing Ruth goodnight as she sat at her computer organizing blog pieces.  The disadvantage of co-housing in a small house is that we are in each others' space and the advantage is that we are deeply in each others' lives.

From a Distance

    I'm away for a long weekend visiting friends and it is strange to think back on the house with all the family in it - and KK in her little house too.  So much has changed.  Liam is a big little boy, talking, asking, playing, helping.  KK clears the table, even gets tupperware out for food storage and just puts leftovers away without anyone making that her chore.  Bob is putting a garden in, which amazes me since he is still easily sore from workouts. He's also been doing most of the grocery shopping. Chris has been working long hours at schools and tutoring lately, really long hours, much different than a few months ago when he was often home.  Ruth and I plug away balancing out of home and in home tasks and don't have to work at enjoying family.  This co-housing is good, not perfect.  It would be easier to have more space, and I wish we communicated better about mutual needs, but we do pretty well, but there is so much love.

Quiet house

It is so quiet here - KK with her mama, Ruth, Liam, and Chris in Blacksburg with family - just me and Bob and dogs and turtles present. The quiet feels good, the ability to clean and put away laundry without getting in anyone's way - and yet I miss the energy level and the love of an active family household. And I miss the specific people. It was a scramble before everyone left - dance, choir, and school deadlines for KK, holiday social events, semster end scramble for Ruth, crazy busy practice for me. By Tuesday I was feeling worn out, like at the end of a long race, but I don't regret the intensity of our household, just keep learning about pacing.

Happy Hanukkah House

I'm surprised how much holidays and music are special in my life since we started living together. I'm really not much on music or holidays, or at least I didn't used to be. But no much of anything could top dancing in the kitchen, three generations of us, to klezmer music while two candles shine in the mennorah after a fulfilling work day.

In Appreciation of Ruth's Magic Touch

Magic

My daughter Ruth
works magic with space,
turns chair, clears air,
paints wall, work of art
,opens hearts, sets table,
nourishes friendships
,organizes for serenity
,designs for connection,
moves through room,
trails beauty like love.

Victoria Hendricks
November 24, 2010