Thursday, November 5, 2009

Lucky me!

I've been buried under a seemingly insurmountable pile of work papers and catching up this past week. I HATE feeling behind and my mood and my housekeeping have been suffering (which starts a nasty spiral--I don't do the laundry because I am too busy, then I feel antsy because the laundry is piling up, which makes me less efficient, which makes me more behind, which makes it less likely that I'll have the time to get to the mess that is slowly closing in and making me crazy.... and on and on and on)

But this week mom spoiled me and did my laundry--ALL of it, from overflowing hamper to folded and put away (all three zillion loads!) It seems like a small thing but it wasn't. I'm amazed at how difficult it was for me to LET her do it all by her self. But I did. And I'm grateful I did. It was a transformative experience for me.

This is the kind of thing that never ceases to amaze me about being married--that there is someone else in the world who can (and will) on occasion completely free me from dealing with something that I feel like is properly "MY JOB." Every time Chris does our taxes with no help from me (THANK YOU SWEETIE!) or runs a particularly dreadful errand I feel blessed and lucky and very very taken care of.

And it's different than just getting help--I think I'm generally pretty good at accepting help (I have such helpful people in my life I'm pretty spoiled in that way actually) but I guess I didn't realize how important it is to me that I "do my share" when getting help. Letting mom COMPLETELY take on the responsibility was uncomfortable and eye opening and wonderful (I actually understand the "taking a huge weight off my shoulders" metaphor--I don't think I really did before--I've always thought it meant sharing the weight. But this was really different--taking the weight and freeing me to do other things. Wow)

I feel like a bit of an idiot writing this post because I'm sure everyone else knows the magic of letting someone else do for you but if this blog is supposed to record my experience than this seems important.

Why co house? Because that way there are more people to step in, share the weight, and when you need it, free you completely. And because the next day--when you are still basking in the warm glow of being helped in a way that rocks you to the core the person who, in that moment is your hero, says "I feel like I'm getting so much more than I'm giving in this arrangement--I hope you don't think you're doing too much"

1 comment:

  1. This post touches me. It is odd reading about your sense of being taken care of when I do, indeed, feel more taken care of than helpful in this situation. It is so amazing to come home to meals prepared, to have the trash can emptied or the cupboard closed without doing it. The truism "Many hands make lioght work." really is true. And it does go deeper than that, to an increased sense of safety living with a multigenerational community that loves me.