From the hospital

It's been a rollercoaster of a day, really thankful to have the support of both daughters and their guys. Right now Bob is not in crisis. In fact he's eating crackers and watching football. But pulmonary embolisms, his doctor said, are a major cause of sudden death, which could have happened any time during the last few days - freaks me out. I asked the doctor if sudden death is still a risk and he says not really, that the blood thinners give protection against further pieces of clot breaking off. There will be more medical tests tomorrow to look for clots in legs and heart and for possible genetic causes. Being with Bob, he doesn't seem very sick, not in pain or exhausted - I'm scared of the tests tomorrow though. tEsts are supposed to be good because they give information that leads to cures. I really know that. I'm just scared of information in situations like this. Completely irrational. I love it that you've been posting, Ruth, and thanks, Joanna for the ride and the love getting me down here in one piece. I'm glad Joanna took Lobo home and Chris and Ruth will take care of him. I'm just walking away from my practice, which feels crazy, for these few days - this week. I'm trying to leave messages, but people are just going to have to get along without me for now. I don't feel like I have any extra emotional strength for anybody.