Peaceful evening

It's oddly pleasant being here at the hospital with Bob - the rest of the world on hold. I've got the drill down - the location of the ice machine, the hours of the cafeteria, halls to walk inside since it is cold outside and I go crazy just sitting and not getting any exercise at all. Bob seems stronger, shaved this evening. I still am nervous about the results of the echocardiogram and he still wishes his heart rate would come down more, but mostly we're enjoying this odd island of time. I keep chanting internally in odd moments "He's alive. He could be dead. He's alive." And then I give him a kiss. Of course any of us could be dead at any moment and everyone could use a kiss. I also am thankful for Bob's choice to be a teacher and for the medical insurance that comes with that choice.I remember the added anxiety of hospitalizations without insurance. The system of payment for health care is so broken - and I feel really fortunate to be on the right side of the chasm this time around (not that there still won't be expenses).